STRATEGIC PARENTING PRACTICE 2: Leverage teachable moments in the daily rhythm of life to talk with your kids about spiritual truths and apply biblical wisdom.
We’re all busy. This seems to be a generally assumed consensus in our culture. And, of course, caught right in the middle of all the busyness are parents trying to navigate this reality while having children who are in the formative years of life.
Christian parents desire for their children to mature in godly character and to grow in love for the Lord. In fact, having the proper desire is not often the issue (though we confess that other desires, like worldly success, often conflict with the more God-honoring desires). The difficult questions that are most likely in the heart of every Christian parent are, “What do we do to help them grow?” and “When do we find the time to do it?”
One of the most famous passages in the Bible is Deuteronomy 6:4–9,
4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
This Old Testament passage summarizes in a meaningful way what it means to be a Christian—loving the Lord our God. For parents, especially, this text is so helpful because it also gives us practical application for raising children in today’s time, and it is focused on capturing all the available moments of our time with our children:
- Teach these words diligently to your children… Loving the Lord should be something that we are talking about with our children regularly and often. When I see young children wearing a t-shirt with the logo of a sports team, I’m always reminded that someone led that child to love that team. I don’t assume the child considered all the teams that might be cheered for and then landed on this team because of their reasoned investigation. Rather, they cheer for this team because they were led to see the value in it. In a much more significant and profound way, we should be leading our children to Jesus. And while it will look different than picking a sports team to root for, as Christian parents, we should be diligent to ensure that our children know that we love the Lord and why we love Him.
- Talk about it when you sit in your house… we should talk with our children about our love for the Lord during our time at home. Talking about Jesus doesn’t only happen at church. This should be a consistent part of our conversations in the home. Actively look for opportunities to talk about the Lord at home. You never know when a passing comment (“I’m so thankful that the Lord provided our home.”) will lead to a great discussion (“Hey mom, if God created everything, who created God?”)
- Talk about it when you walk by the way… one great way to redeem the time in our busy schedules is to have good conversations as we drive in our cars from place to place. As boring as it may seem, when I am driving in the car with my children, I never turn on the radio. Sometimes that means we ride in silence (which is kind of a nice thing in itself), but it also encourages talking. Typically, the conversations are random and “tell-me-about-your-day” kind of conversations. But there are also times when they are meaningful and significant. Capitalize on those times of going from place to place.
- Talk about these things when you lie down… bedtime routines are some of the best times to be intentional. As one of my friends said to me, “We make it a habit to read the Bible at bedtime because we go to bed every day.” His reasoning is quite flawless. Most of the time in our family, bedtime is “I love you”, hugs, and “go straight to sleep because it’s late.” But bedtime routines have also been some of our most treasured times of reading the Bible together, or reading good books aloud, or memorizing Scripture, or talking about Jesus, or praying for each other. Think about how you could use bedtime in an intentional way; it happens every day.
- Talk about these things when you rise… when our first child started elementary, I decided I wanted to try to pray together every day before school. For our family, getting out the door in the mornings always proved to be hectic, but I found some spare time in the car ride with my son. From that point on, every morning as we near the school, I ask what we can pray about, and I spend a few minutes praying aloud in the car with my children. I thank the Lord for the sunrise or for the rain, I thank Him for our church and for what Jesus did to rescue us, I pray for their day, for the Lord to protect their school, for the tests they have that day (that’s a regular request), and anything else that might come up. Maybe for you it happens as your child brushes their teeth in the morning, or while you’re scrambling eggs in the frying pan, or in the car on the way to school, or at the end of the driveway as you wait for the bus, or at the front door before everyone leaves for the day. Find a time that works. Mornings are important, they set the tone for the day.
- Bind them on your hand, and as frontlets between your eyes… I think this image is meant to indicate that our love for the Lord should direct our actions (“hands”) and define our thoughts and motivations (“between your eyes,” or “foreheads”—that is to say, your minds).
- Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates… similarly to the previous one, our love for the Lord should characterize our families. Our homes should be full of these truths. And when visitors look in, they should be able to observe it displayed in our lives as clearly as if it were written on the side of our mailboxes (“gates”). I think in a very practical way, having God’s word highlighted throughout our homes for our children to see is a great idea. To take that a step farther, from time to time, parents could point to a Bible verse written in a picture frame on the wall and share about why that verse is so meaningful.
These are a few ideas on how parents can capture moments throughout the day that could turn out to be more valuable than one might ever imagine. Even more, when you add up all those little moments over years of time, it becomes even more significant in the lives of our children and families.
Dr. Tyler Smiley
serves as Lakewood’s Senior Pastor. He and his wife, Catie, have four children.