Strategic Parenting Practice 7: Lead your kids to use their God-given gifts to serve others in ministry by meeting both physical and spiritual needs.
When I moved out of the house and started my freshman year of college, I encountered a new level of freedom over my schedule. The guardrails that my parents had established for me were now painted lines that I could easily cross if I wanted to. If I got a little hungry at 11:30, I could drive to Taco Bell for a late-night snack. Maybe, because of that choice, when my alarm goes off for my 8:00 AM class, I decide that it’ll be okay if I miss just this once. You make enough of these types of decisions, and then you realize that just because you can do something doesn’t mean that you should. One of the most jarring ways I felt this new freedom was with this block of time on Sunday mornings. I didn’t have to go to church as I had all of my life, so would I? I was highly involved in the ministries of my church and enjoyed it, but I also didn’t have a choice in the matter. The time had come for me to choose if I would continue down the path my parents had set for me, of pursuing the Lord and serving in His church, or not.
In the book Why They Stay, Dr. Steve Parr and Dr. Tom Cites found that, “the young adults more likely to stay in church were more likely to be currently active in church and tended to have a high level of church-related activity growing up.” Growing up as someone actively involved in my church, I knew that in order for the mission to be accomplished, people had to step up and do it. We needed people to sing the songs, teach the kids, clean the church, and go on the mission trips, and we still do. There is a saying that ninety percent of people do ten percent of the work in churches. Unfortunately, there is a lot of truth in that, and I tend to think that the larger the church, the percentage of people serving drops even lower than that. Other people, like Dr. Kara Powell, have done studies on passing down faith from generation to generation. In her book Sticky Fait,h she found that “volunteering was one of the more pervasive builders of sticky faith.” Hopefully, this spurs us on to serve with our families for the benefit of the church and in hopes that it connects the dots in their mind that we are doing more than just going to church, we are “… His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10
After a few months of settling into my newfound freedom, I began making wiser choices in my freshman year. The Lord, in His kindness, surrounded me with some wonderful Christian friends, and I eventually found a church to join and serve. Serving in the church is all I have ever known, and it’s been very natural for me and my wife to incorporate our girls into the rhythm of serving at church. We have been blessed with churches that do their best to let children serve in age-appropriate ways. Whether it’s a drawing from a preschooler, a song from a kids’ choir, or a testimony from a student, each one has an important role to play in the life of the church. It’s easy to find a reason not to be involved in the ministry of the church. We can be tempted to think that someone else will do it, or that there just isn’t time for it in this busy season of life. The truth is that the lessons and core memories made when you serve together will help you and your children transform into kingdom-minded, servant leaders, and we need more people like that.
My wife and I are musicians, and we have passed down that passion to our children. We had them singing in large groups, small groups, and drama teams, while experimenting with various instruments along the way, mainly to see if any of those avenues matched their passion and their gifting. We also explored other areas of ministry outside of our comfort zones as a family to see how the Lord would equip us, and let that shape us for future life challenges. Side note, an important thing to remember when plugging into ministries is asking where the need is. The Lord has equipped His children with different gifts, and the church has many needs, some less glamorous than others. Model servant leadership that meets the needs of the church, not personal fulfillment, and your children will see what true leadership really looks like.
Carter Reeves
serves as one of Lakewood’s Worship Pastors. He and his wife, Kelli, have two daughters.