Our drive to the Zhengzhou orphanage seemed to go on forever. We huddled in the back of an old minivan that reeked of cigarette smoke, taking sharp turns down streets piled with debris. Our new 1 and 2-year-old sons bounced around on the seats next to us. China has no car seat laws (no CAR SEATS that we could find!), one of the MANY differences we would encounter when parenting babies in a foreign land. One of our boys was FURIOUS…wailing his protest of these new people, this new adventure, this new life outside the walls of the “home” he had known all his life.
We eventually pulled into the parking lot and tumbled out of the van at the base of the massive building. We had been told this large orphanage held over 700 children and elderly occupants. In China, if an elderly person doesn’t have a son to care for them in their old age, they are taken in by the state in the same way as children without parents. The orphaned kids remain wards of the People’s Republic of China until they are either adopted, turn 14 and are released to a government job, or, if their needs require full-time care throughout adulthood, placed in a mental institution.
It was late December and the smog was thick. We couldn’t help but notice the lack of electricity in the dark hallways. It was said the issue was “temporary”, but we had our doubts. A teen boy (who appeared to be a paraplegic) leaned his tiny body against the door of an elevator going nowhere anytime soon. The men in our group offered to carry him to his room, but were told by the people in charge that help was not necessary. Looking around the dark, quiet building, help seemed more than necessary.
Almost 9 years later, we climbed the steps of a different, much smaller orphanage, many miles from Zhengzhou, China. The “baby home” in Stara Zagora, Bulgaria was beautiful from the outside, but held unspeakable secrets, abuse, and pain. The children behind these walls did have the benefit of electricity (though no heating or air, which is common in Europe) but most were caged in cribs and severely malnourished. My husband and I were there to adopt our 9th child, (the 5th to come from institutionalized care) and yet we were unprepared for the trauma she had endured in her former “home”. At almost 2-years-old, she was barely 12 lbs, yet unable to support the weight of her small frame on her skinny legs. The noises she made sounded like a newborn kitten…a quiet “meow” squeaked out occasionally. Her eyes were too large for her small face, but she seemed to be taking in her surroundings. I’ll never forget the laugh she let out when we walked back down those orphanage steps and the hot wind hit her face. As if she knew, even with her limited capacity to dream, that life was about to get sweeter. That the love of a forever family was just around the corner.
My husband and I could write a book filled with the stories we’ve had the blessing of witnessing over the past 12 years, during which He’s brought 6 children into our family though the gift of adoption. And one day we just may write that book, telling the world all He’s done!
But, in this space, I want to share our “why”. Why we didn’t consider ourselves “done” growing our family after birthing 3 healthy kids. Why we traveled the world many times over to step into the lives of vulnerable children and make them our own. Why we drove south of Atlanta to bring home a tiny, two-week-old baby boy with significant and unknown special needs. Why we chose to leap into orphan care, family preservation opportunities, and shouting the worth of children from hard places whenever given the platform to do so. Why we feel so passionately about the adoption/foster care ministry at Lakewood Baptist Church.
The short answer is…Jesus. We felt a quiet nudge from the Holy Spirit in 2012 after praying that God would “break our hearts for what breaks yours” and “rise up in us a holy passion”. Because of those prayers, when He called us to travel to China and adopt not one, but two sons, we said yes. Not because we are selfless, abnormally “good”, or heroes in any way. We said yes because we live in expectation that the Lord will take our “mustard seed sized” faith and use us to help redeem the broken stories around us. And we said yes because of our undying belief that the gift of a family should be the right of every child.
For the most part, we are messy, wavering, and ill equipped for the tasks before us. If you don’t believe me, ask our children! We second guess ourselves and stay on our knees, praying that the Lord will work through our imperfect parenting. We had EVERY reason to say no all 6 times God called us to grab hold of what He deemed as “best” for our family. But with our quiet yes, we found the Lord to be bigger than we ever thought Him to be. Bigger than our mistakes, bigger than our lack, bigger than our doubt. Bigger than the “American Dream” we had been sold.
Is the Lord asking for your yes in the area of Adoption or Foster Care? Do you have love to give, a spirit willing to learn, and a home that can provide shelter and peace for a vulnerable child? Children in need don’t need heroes to swoop into their stories. THEY alone are the heroes of their stories. They just need us to be their voice in a world that has been cruel. Will it be easy? No. But nothing worthwhile ever is. As Christ followers, we are called to do hard and holy things. The Bible is full of ordinary men and women who put their yes on the table and saw EVERYTHING change for the better. Let us follow in their bold footsteps!
Written by Tanna Roush
Lakewood’s Adoption & Foster Care Ministry Director